Listening. Truely listening.

Communication is certainly interesting. Many of us know abut the way we communicate through body language, voice tonality and words, but how many of us actually consider it on a conscious level from day to day? What makes a great conversation?

I met a really cool guy from Uruguay the other day on a boat on Lake Titicaca in the South of Peru. Andreas is a young pharmacist chemist. He volunteers as a clown to offer a ray of sunshine into various children's lives on hospital wards. We talked for hours about many things. He was so inspiring and really got me thinking about communication.

In one of his training sessions he did a certain exercise that visually describes the interaction between two people. First you stand in a circle and make eye contact with someone. Anyone will do. You keep eye contact and then make a gesture to hold hands, standing opposite each other. Then you begin to spin, faster and faster. Eventually you let go and sit down. I thought this a wonderful parody of how we can choose to interact with love and compassion. Its kind of like a dance. You must both choose to do it. You must both have respect for the other and hold each other up. After the interaction you are changed (in this case dizzy and probably smiling) in some way. The true communication did not involve words. The space shared was mutual and on a much higher level than words.

We are constantly reading social cues from others, every single moment of a conversation. Most of the time on an unconscious level. If we can become conscious of it though and are aware of how we feel inside; we can listen with our hearts and can then REALLY interact. Listening is key. Listening with your heart is not thinking. It is not listening to the running commentary in your head or what you can relate to anothers words to immediately start talking when they stop.

True listening is to stop thinking and to listen to the other person with every cell in your body. To be consciously aware and being. I suppose that is why I am writing this. I am more and more practicing this kind of listening and wanted to share this realisation with you. Next time we talk, I wish to practice really listening to what you have to say. Of course I won´t strive to make the conversation sterile by looking at you and saying ´go´. I mean in the general flow of conversation I wish to practice this.

Give it a go yourself if you like. Next time you are in a conversation with anyone consider how you are listening. Consider the thoughts in your head as the other is talking. Become conscious of the present moment you are sharing with that person. Give them space to talk. For me, when I remember to do this the results have been incredible. These conversations are so non-egoicly based, they encourage conscious awareness and a snow balling effect begins to happen. It´s absolutely wonderful. Think about it. Then stop thinking about it and feel it with your heart. Then respond. Try it. (: